Among other things, the cruise control function does not work on my pickup.  I have never owned a vehicle with cruise control, so I don’t know what I’m missing. 

From observing other drivers, I gather I am missing the ability to text, eat soup, type a term paper, and trim my fingernails while doing a steady 75 mph.  My best friend’s grandmother used to set the cruise control on her Oldsmobile at 35 going down Main Street.  That was not convenient; it was scary. 

I once drove 19 1/2 consecutive hours.  It was supposed to be a 17 1/2 hour trip, but I got lost twice.  A few people said, “Oh, man!  That’s rough” upon learning I didn’t have cruise control in my ’98 Dodge Neon.  Depressing the accelerator pedal with my right foot the entire 1,024-mile trip did not register as a hardship.  Two dozen Apaches attacking my covered wagon, 1836-style, would count as a hardship.  Traveling across country back in the days when a forty-mile stretch of desert devoid of a water source could really wreck a person’s road trip, that would count as a harship.  That would even be worse than not having radio reception for the good FM stations. 

Actually, I think cruise control would be a good idea for me.  I drive exceptionally slow; when I was learning to drive, my mom used to remind me to step on the gas to reach the reduced speeds posted on the warning signs for curves in the road.  My first vehicle was a ’76 Datsun pickup, mustard yellow with manual steering.  It couldn’t go over 55 mph.  Truckers routinely passed me on the freeway.

Cruise control would enable me to keep up to speed with the rest of society.  Actually, maybe I better pass.  It’s kinda nice having an excuse for not keeping up 🙂


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