I’m A Brunette?

When I was a baby, I had pencil-straight blonde hair.  As I grew up, it darkened and curled with glacial sureness, until I was a bonafide brunette who didn’t need a curling iron.  It took a while to think of myself as a brunette, though.  Some roots run deep.

I once changed a light bulb twice before I realized the lamp wasn’t plugged in.  Hmmm, I thought, another bad bulb.  We gotta switch brands or something. 

My junior year of college, I climbed two flights of stairs and walked down a long hallway to my professor’s office, only to realize I was in the wrong building. 

I frequently confuse Betsy Ross with Diana Ross, and therefore remain mute on American history trivia questions. 

I have recently outdone myself, though.  As a substitute teacher, I sign up for teaching jobs through an online system.  While working at a high school last week, the secretary came in and asked if I’d switch my next day of teaching from my assigned music class to special education, since I did such a good job the week before and the teacher had requested me.

“Sure, that’d be great,” I replied.  The secretary commented that I’d be there the next two days.  I said no, I’d only signed up for one day.

I checked SubFinder online and discovered I had indeed actually signed up for a two-day job.  I hadn’t realized that the one-day jobs and multiple-day jobs weren’t given any special differentiation besides carefully reading the start and end dates. 

I thought back to the previous week when a student asked me, “Are you going to be our sub all three days?”

“No,” I cheerfully answered, “I’m just here today.”

Bleep.

I re-checked my list of past jobs on SubFinder.  Yep, sure as shootin’, I’d signed up for a three-day job the week before.  I’d only showed up once. 

Mortified, I waited until the color receeded from my face to go into the office and apologize profusely for not appearing for work two days in a row. 

The secretary looked at me blankly.  “Oh, you weren’t here?” she asked.

I explained my mistake.  She said the other teachers never said anything; they must’ve taken the handful of students in that class into their own rooms for the two days. 

I don’t show up to school and I get requested by the teacher.  I’m not sure whether to be flattered or insulted.  As long as the jobs keep coming, I won’t be picky how I got the referral.

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