Comic Relief

Here’s some randomly assembled comic relief courtesy of the children.

The other day I taught second grade.  As the class entered the room, I sat in the chair behind the teacher’s desk.  A blonde girl walked over and asked where her regular teacher was.

“She’s not here today.  I’m your sub,” I explained.

“I wish Mrs. Baird was here.  I like her.  But I’m glad you’re here,” the little girl said as she patted me on the head.

I was hyperaware of odd names at this school.  I led the charge after being dubbed, “Miss Lambchopper” by an eight-year-old.  One boy in this class had the last name “McNutt,” the blonde girl who patted my head was “Kate Holmes,” and “Mrs. Lesbo” taught next door.  Today in middle school I instructed “Vidalia.” 

Does anyone else absolutely love that Sammy Kershaw song?  Come on, Erica, you know we do 🙂

As part of her assignment, I asked a second grader how many states were in America.

“Does Mexico count?” she responded. 

Hmmm….is she behind in her geography education or wise beyond her years? 

Another student tried to calculate the number of states. 

“Well, I know there’s Las Vegas and New Vegas….”

I’m reassured that they all know the Pledge of Allegiance by heart.  You don’t have to be able to count to be patriotic.

How about this for a seventh grade insult:
Boy #1: I need to borrow your dictionary.
Boy #2: You need to borrow your face!

Burn?

I visited with an eighth grade boy during a slow moment in the classroom.  He told me he had a big family; lots of half-siblings from both his parents.  His older half-sister had three kids, his next half-sister had four kids, and his other half-sister had one kid.  He mentioned one half-sister’s name was Jolyn.

“Hey, that’s my name!” I said.

“Really?  Hey, maybe you’re my sister!”

Kids.  Some days, I go to work grumpy, but I’m always smiling within twenty minutes.  They’re funny people!

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1 Comment

Filed under Tales From The Schoolroom

One response to “Comic Relief

  1. Michael Roberts

    I think you would enjoy reading Judy Blunt’s Breaking Clean, a great book about a contemporary woman of the west and her journey to find her own identity. She now teaches Creative Writing at the University of Montana.

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