Things That I Get Confused

I have been living as an independent, pay-my-own-bills, buy-my-own-groceries, do-my-own-laundry, call-home-and-cry-once-a-week kind of person since I was 17.  I moved to Texas by myself at age 21, I start my own colts, change flat tires and and wrestle wild steers into submission on ridge tops with no assistance (except my rope, my horse, Tilly, Tilly’s rope, Tilly’s horse, and Tilly’s expert advice and encouragement).  Despite these practical accomplishments, not to mention my 3.8 collegiate GPA and graduating cum laude, I’ve heard a rumor that I’m an airhead.  I don’t get it.

Things That I Get Confused:

The movie titles The Ringer and The Rounders When someone quotes a line from one, I’m liable to attribute it to the other and laugh in a confused manner.

Jokes that are: told while I’m drinking/standing too far from the joke teller/dirty/about chipmunks.  This will not prevent me from laughing enthusiastically; only the vacant look in my eyes will tell you I have no idea what’s going on.

Rachel Bilson and Rachel McAdams.  Surely I’m not the only one!

The accelerator and the brake pedal.  It’s a terrible feeling to drive down the street in town, go to pick up speed, press a pedal, and slowly lurch to a near-stop.  I always think Oh, bleep!  My pickup’s broken!  My pickup’s broken!  I’m going to have to take it to the shop and spend hundreds of dollars that I don’t have to get it repaired, because I depend upon it for transportation to my job, which I need to pay rent and buy groceries!  Oh, bleep!  Equally intense is the relief that I merely stepped on the wrong pedal.  That almost makes up for the embarrassment.

The time I’m supposed to be at work and the time I’m supposed to leave for work.  I always forget to calculate for town traffic, stop lights, distance from my house, running back to the house from my pickup because I forgot my sunglasses, parking my pickup and walking to the school office, running back to my pickup because I forgot my whistle, etc.  I seriously need to give myself 30 minutes to get upstairs from my basement room each morning. 

South.  I have a pretty good handle on east, as I am up and going every morning before the sun.  If I physically observe the sun arising from a horizon, I immediately peg that direction as east for the remainder of the day.  After about 4 o’clock PM, west is pretty easy to detect, and north is toward Owyhee, so actually I should be able to derive south using the process of elimination.  Ah ha! 

Ty VN quote: “Jolyn’s always confused, so that doesn’t count.”  He may have a valid point.  I’m not sure what it is, but I really think the man has a valid point.

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