So, there’s a feature on wordpress.com that lets me look at all the phrases people have typed into a search engine that led them to my blog. There’s the standard “jolyn laubacher” and “jolyn laubacher blog.” There’s people who searched for my friends “tilly van norman” or the name of a specific blog post “sagebrush telegraph.”
Some people found me by searching for a blog’s specific subject, such as “national cowboy poetry gathering,” “jordan valley rodeo,” or “winnemucca ranch hand rodeo.” Others found me while looking up completely unrelated topics, like “hot wheels 2011,” “cough cough hack hack,” “a virus with a silent cough” (what’s with this?), “hand engraving,” and a personal favorite: “old can openers.”
They really got to the heart of my blog: kitchen tools.
Wow, some people really got lost in cyberspace here! My apologies to all of you who were looking for “performance horse breeders,” “buckaroo gift wrap paper,” “chuck milner music,” “paint rodeo pickup horses,” or “i’ll be your huckleberry montana t shirt.”
Some of the search phrases had a Native American sound to them. Check out “gray short hair women walking a horse,” “make cuts saddle strings,” and “riderless horse.”
Then there’s the plain bizarre. “bridals with cows,” (what the heck was this person looking for, anyway???), “my daddy wears bras,” (sorry, Dad, I seriously have no idea how that led a person here! You can read back through my archives – there is no mention of such a thing. Besides, if there was, I definitely wouldn’t blog about it), “suicide attempt, elko nevada, august,” “lesson plans on river rocks for young children” (because I TOTALLY write those all the time), and a category winner: ” what is the difference between two title eat to live and live to eat.” I don’t know the answer….because I can’t really figure out the question.
Finally, there are the dirty searches. “lap dancing winnemucca,” “obscene cowboy poetry” (really? And MY site came up???), “the yp and tim kershner,” (ok, that one’s not really dirty. I just wanted to point out the Tim has a stalker), plus one that definitely wins the category but definitely won’t be printed because I’m a lady and neither say nor type such vile words. Plus, I’m a tad embarrassed that such a search led someone here.
So, next time you search the world wide web for “dear family christmas wishes,” ” cow camps owyhee desert nv ore,” “bed roll big lots” (do they sell bed rolls there? Where, like right next to the flat screen TVs? Or over by the Shakira CDs and half-priced DVDs?), “annie maddalena” (Annie Banannie, sorry for dedicating a post to you! And for including your name again here. Shoot), or “jolynn laubacher wa” (yeah, no clue what’s with the ‘wa’), you just might end up here. Stay a while – read a few posts, laugh if the feeling strikes you, block me from your computer forever if you want. It’s cool. Ultimately, we’re all searching for the same thing: “jesus wrapping paper.”